Kiss my ass. Kiss his ass. Kiss your ass. Happy Hanukkah.

Welp, December's Quickies! went off with nary a hitch in sight! An audience accrued despite assholish weather! Our readers killed! No one cried! See for yourselves:

Honorary mascot Zach Dodson started it off, reading Amelia Gray's TripleQuick story from his iPhone!

Sarah Grainer read about mystery blood and camping!

Lindsay Hunter, SSDD!

Geoff Hyatt got whistled off and just kept going!

Lex Sonne doesn't fuck around when it comes to 1. great stories and 2. snow boots!

Mary Hamilton read from the Mary Hamilton Classics Collection!

Jesse Jordan, you had us at "tugboat"!

Jill Summers casually shredded the room!

'Twas a goodun. Thanks once again to our loyal audience and Innertown Pub! Stay tuned, ch-ch-ch-changes on the horizon! Happy holidays and we'll see you January 12.

I WANT YOUR ROMANCE AND I WANT YOUR READING.

Quickies!

Tuesday, December 8

7:30 PM

Innertown Pub

Featuring:

SARAH GRAINER

Sarah Grainer is a writer and emoticon designer currently squatting in Tinley Park.

GEOFF HYATT

Geoff Hyatt's work has appeared or is forthcoming in Temenos, Necrotic Tissue, ThugLit, The Harrow, and elsewhere. His first novel will be published by Leucrota Press in October 2010. A former staff writer for a children's entertainment company, bookseller, activist, and factory worker, he now writes and teaches in Chicago.

LEX SONNE

Lex Sonne is from central Kentucky. His writing has appeared or is forthcoming in Eleven Eleven, New Madrid, and Night Train. He is also the co-editor of the literary magazine Somnambulist Quarterly.

JESSE JORDAN

Jesse Jordan is best known as the inventor of such recreational activities as Jukebox Challenge, Flaming Kickball and Oaktree. He's huge in Europe.

JILL SUMMERS

Jill's audio fiction has been featured internationally by Chicago Public Radio, the Third Coast International Audio Festival, and New Adventures in Sound Art. Her work has appeared in Stop Smiling Magazine, Ninth Letter, Annalemma, The 2nd Hand, and MAKE magazine, among other places. She has three collections of audio shorts, Cohabitation, Les Petites Tristes, and In The Realm of Normal Sized Things.

QUICKIES! OF THE WEIRD.

November's Quickies! was one of the weirdest ever and I don't think we'll ever be the same. If you didn't make it to witness the show for yourself, we feel sort of sorry for you.

Beloved mascot Toby Bengelsdorf started it off with a Harold Blunderson update!

Tim Hall read, we shit you not, tips on buying LCD televisions!

Rory Jobst read about a guy with some...creamsicle issues!

One of us read something about incest!

Simon A. Smith showed 'em how it's done and read TWO stories in under 5 minutes!

The other one of us read something about moon people!

Kathryn Regina read about a hot air balloonist while a drunk guy talked loudly about the weather!

Tim Racine, at 17, was extremely awesome at 1. doing drugs, 2. eating girls out, and 3. ska.

Tim is so good at ska, in fact, that we had to invite him back up to skank while we closed the show!

Thanks, readers! You messed with our heads and it was delightful.

And thanks, audience! We love you. At the end of the night, after lots of weirdness and too many dumb foot-in-mouth things said by Lindsay, you were the wind beneath our wings.

See you December 8!

Shake shake ya booty, like Scooby Dooby

TIM HALL

Tim Hall is a graduate of Paul D. Schreiber High School. Read more about him at timhallbooks.com

RORY JOBST

Unlike Randy Newman, Rory Jobst loves short people. Earl Boykins, Toulouse-Lautrec, Alan Ladd, and Michael J. Fox all make him smile. In honor of his favorite height of people, Rory has devoted his life to writing short fiction, poetry, and plays. His short work has been seen in places like the Acme Arts Works, the Lunar Cabaret, and Prop Thtr and read in places like fictionatwork, Spoke, and yellow legal pad at the bottom of his NPR tote bag. Listen to him intermittent Mondays on DVD Geeks at Fearlessradio.com.

TIM RACINE

Tim Racine is a serious writer that writes serious works (completely false) and a super-awesome hype-man for a hip-hop group (completely true). Stalkers can visit: www.timracine.com

KATHRYN REGINA

Kathryn Regina has chapbooks from Publishing Genius Press and Greying Ghost Press. She's the new co-editor of "IsReads," an outdoor journal, and her blog is called www.this-is-not-poetry.blogspot.com


SIMON A. SMITH

Simon A. Smith lives in Lincoln Square with his wife and a murderous orange tabby named Cheever. He does not live with a flat screen TV, a couch manufactured after 1975 or adult window treatment. His fiction has appeared or is forthcoming in Hobart, Quick Fiction, Monkeybicycle, Opium, PANK, Bound Off, Dogzplot and a few others. He turned 30 a few weeks ago and is dealing with it... although not particularly well.

QUICKIES!
Tuesday, November 10
7:30pm
The Innertown Pub
Chicago


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Please Read! A call for help from the Chicago literary community. (updated)

UPDATE: C.T. Ballentine has been located and is relatively well and safe. His friends thank you for all your help and support.


To Whom It May Concern:

We are asking people all over Chicago to help find a missing friend.

You may know C.T. Ballentine, a very talented artist who lives in the McKinley Park neighborhood of Chicago. He has been missing since Friday, and all of his friends are worried about him.

He's been going through some difficult times, and has recently shaved his head. As you can read in the attached flyer, he is a writer, sound engineer, performer and active member of the Chicago's young artist community.

We would appreciate it if you could read this, and help us put it into as many hands as possible.

If you have any questions, please feel free to call Eric Graf. His number is at the top of the flyer.

Thank you in advance for your help.

Sincerely,

Friends of C.T. Ballentine


PLEASE READ THIS AND KEEP AN EYE OUT FOR C.T. BALLENTINE OF CHICAGO. HE IS MISSING, AND WE ARE WORRIED ABOUT HIM.

He was last seeing wearing dark cut off pants over sweatpants and a jean jacket. He has recently shaved his head.

There is a Missing Persons Report with the Chicago Police. If you have any information on his location please call 9-1-1 immediately. You can ask for confidentiality, if you want.

PLEASE SPREAD THIS MAILING FAR AND WIDE.

IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS CALL ERIC GRAF AT 773-934-6519



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TELL ME WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE IF WE GO BACK TO NORMAL AGAIN...

You've heard of SuperSizin'. You know how it can clog your arteries and cottage-cheese up your thighs. But you're also familiar with how delicious something meaty and salty and bigger than normal feels sliding down your throat (that's for you, pervy blog skimmers!). Well, that's kind of how the Quickies! FUNdraiser was, and thankfully we had an audience full of deep throats (I'm sorry. I really am.).

Anyway. There were a lot of readers and a lot of amazing:

Casey Bye!

Aaron Plasek!

Kate Duva!

Richard Thomas!

This bitch!

Ben Tanzer!

Elizabeth Wylder!

After an intermission, there was the Dollar Store Reunion Tour!:

Caroline Picard!

Mary Hamilton! (Recently nominated by Smokelong Quarterly for Dzanc's Best of the Web, 2010!)

Zach Dodson!

Jac Jemc (blinded by her own brilliance)!

Aaron Burch! (For some reason there was no picture taken of Snack Pack. Instead, enjoy this video.)

Blake Butler!

Amelia Gray (fucking slayed)!

Shew. It was a long'un. But we made more money than at last year's fundraiser, and for that we thank our dear, dear audience! We love you!

See you November 10!

Holy frijoles you guys...

This month's Quickies! may kick your ass! Our October show will be our second FUNdraiser! We have twelve amazing readers traveling from four states to join us for this show. Yow!

For only the second time ever, we are asking for handouts. In return, we will give our audience the best reading they have ever seen ever and if they're lucky, a few audience members will win prizes.

Featuring:

JAC JEMC
Jac Jemc has a novel coming out in three years from Dzanc. In the meantime, she's blogging her rejections at jacjemc.wordpress.com.

ELIZABETH WYLDER
Elizabeth Wylder's poetry, fiction, and audio have appeared in various literary journals including 2River View, The Legendary, and Natural Bridge. She is the editor of Pure Francis (www.purefrancis.org) and an instructor at Triton and Malcolm X Colleges. When she grows up, she wants to play in the NBA.


BEN TANZER
Ben Tanzer writes. He also blogs at This Blog Will Change Your Life (bentanzer.blogspot.com/). And watches way too much Sports Center. Still upon on his deathbed, he will receive total consciousness. So he’s got that going for him. Which is nice.

KATE DUVA
Kate Duva grew up in Chicago in a bar. Her work can be found in Fugue, Opium, and The Duva Diaries, a self-made publication. She has performed at the Gwendolyn Brooks Open Mics awards, the Uptown Poetry Slam, and on Vocalo radio. Find her online at www.kateduva.blogspot.com.

CAROLINE PICARD

In addition to working as a visual artist, Caroline Picard is the Founding Director of The Green Lantern Gallery & Press, and a Co-Editor for the literary podcast The Parlor (www.theparlorreads.com). Her writing has been published in a handful of publications including the Phildelphia Independant, NewCity, Lumpen, MAKE Magazine, the Chicago Art Journal Review and Proximity Magazine. Twice a year she meets with a performance group and records improvised music under the collective alias Thee Iran Contras. For more information please visit www.thegreenlantern.org

AARON PLASEK

Aaron Plasek lives in Denver, Colorado, and is patiently waiting for the courage to write the book he does not know how to write. His poems can be found in Diagram, Alice Blue, Juked, and elsewhere. He has an MFA in Writing from the School of the Art Institute of Chicago, and intermittently makes a living teaching literature and composition, most recently at Colorado State University and most most recently to the mockingbird that lives in his backyard.

AMELIA GRAY

Is the author of AM/PM, published by Featherproof Books. Her bookMuseum of the Weird is coming out in October 2010 through FC2.

CASEY BYE

Casey Bye is an MFA candidate in the Fiction Program at Columbia College Chicago. He currently writes for the A&E section of Milwaukee’s Shepherd Express and was previously a staff writer for Milwaukee’s Undercurrents. He is an editor and cofounder of the online literary journal, Knee-Jerk (kneejerkmag.com). He would like to own a dog someday so that his bio could read "He writes and lives with his dog in Chicago" because that'd be a cool bio, right?

ZACH DODSON

Zach Dodson once drank half a bottle of codeine cough syrup and recorded a song called Crazy Bat on his computer.

RICHARD THOMAS

Richard was the winner of the ChiZine Publications 2009 “Enter the World of Filaria” contest. His short story “Maker of Flight” was chosen by Filaria author Brent Hayward and Bram Stoker Award-Winning editor Brett Alexander Savory. Some of his publishing credits include Cemetery Dance (Shivers VI anthology, late 2009), 3:AM Magazine, Word Riot, Dogmatika, Gold Dust, Vain and Opium. He is currently pursuing a MFA at Murray State University in their low-residency program. He is also shopping his neo-noir thriller, Transubstantiate. Richard is a member of the Horror Writer’s Association.

AARON BURCH

edits hobart
spent his summer drunk and in a van on the dollar store tour
has a chapbook of short shorts coming out by the end of the year
is currently a student down there at university of illinois, champaign-urbana
will be reading in chicago again on thursday (10/15) for another chicago magazine's new issue release party

BLAKE BUTLER

Blake Butler is fucking stupid.

So bring your party asses, friends! And some dollar dollar bills, ya'll! We love you and we can't wait to see each and every one of you!

Tuesday, October 13th

7:30 p.m.

Inntertown Pub

1935 W. Thomas, Chicago